<3

 the infinite connection between two unique individuals; its something that changes your whole entire life. love has its ups and downs but if you still have love at the end of the day your blessed. if you can put everything aside for love; if you can forgive someones mistakes; if you could do anything for that one person, you’re truly in love. true love is what everyone wants to find before they descend the world; but its better if you let it find you. when you learn to love someone and they learn to love you the true effects of love show. you feel like your on top of the world. you learn to think of someone before anyone else. the person you love somewhat becomes your concern, your responsibility, and after awhile simply your everything. you become a lot happier then you usually are. in a way your entire world is effected by this one person. your day changes with their presence; you cant help to giggle, laugh, and smile. when you truly love someone, they’re the one person that has the magic ability to almost control your moods. they have the complete ability to break your heart but don’t because they love you too much. love is different for everyone, if you’re lucky enough to experience a true love, feel extra special because not everyone gets a chance to feel loved.

woots. mkaaay I don’t have decent updates in my life right now but these kind of stuff. shalalala-lala-lolo-ve. ew okaaaay. di ko na kailangan ipangalandakan yun )

im watching transformers right now

The one who got away :)

Grabbed from bes tima. ♥ Nagoosebumps ako dahil sa sobrang totoo nito. xD Makes you re-analyze everything. Somehow nakakaparanoid? Haha. BUt then again, baka ako lang talaga yung ganito. )

Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, ”What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright.

It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different.

What do you do if it’s not yet too late?

Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, ”Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

♥♥♥

Kahit na parang “in the moment” ako right now at naooverwhelm ako sa mga pinapakita sakin, aware parin ako sa reality. Na malaki ang possibility na pwedeng magkaiwanan. At mapako ang mga promises. At magkasawaan. Nakakatakot minsan na parang gusto mo ng tumigil to save yourself from the heartaches. Ayaw mo nalang magrisk hindi dahil ayaw mong masayang ang ibibigay mo, kundi para hindi ka masanay ng nagbibigay ng ganun. Nagbibigay kahit alam mong sagad na sagad ka na. Pero ba’t kaya sige parin tayo? Kasi masarap magmahal. At kadalasan worth it ang mga niririsk natin.

Okaay napaganun na naman ako. ) Hooray for updates! Ngayon ko lang nafeel ba maglove talk ulit.

Heart br[e]ak(e)s.

Okaaay majority nito mga same experiences na nirerelate ko from what other people told me, from their stories. And I have some that I correlate myself. Sige nga, wild guess. Tintry ko magcomment on each one of them. Doesn’t necessarily mean experiences ko lahat yan.

‘I’m not allowed to fall in love,’ she said. ‘I’m not allowed to care this much.’ But when you’re staying up late, hoping to God he’s tossing and turning, thinking of you, it’s too late already.

Parang ako? I can’t restrain myself.

The next time I hug you, I think I might explode.

Sige ‘wag mo na kong pakawalan. )

I want to turn you on.

Even more para di mo na talaga ako papakawalan. )

I hate it that you are now in good terms with your ex-best friend/crush/special someone.

Sometimes. Though I know it’s obviously unintentional.

I lied. my phone batt wasn’t dead. I didn’t message you for the whole day, cause I want you to realize how important I am to you, and how much you need me.

Paranoid lang.

I hate the fact that even when I’m not on the road you still cant find time for me. But if you do it feels like you wished you were doing something else. I’m not insecure, just know what I want. But even though I have tried my best to make it work it still hasn’t worked. This is the first time I have given my all. I guess I never thought I would get to a point where my all wasn’t enough. I am terrified. When will just being me be enough.

What a martyr. I remember those times and I get all bitter. Okaay tama na.

Sometimes I think I listen to other people too much and not my heart enough. I still care about you and love you but I just can’t be with you. I did cry, and every time we talk on the phone, I tear up at least once. I want nothing but the best for you and I want you to be happy more than anything in the world.

EPIC. Except some parts to it.

Okaay I’m getting tired of those. Gusto ko naman ishare ngayon yung message ko for HER na pinagawa niya sakin. Natuwa ako sa overwhelming love and support from her superfriends nung nabasa ko yung post niya. And I’m sharing the same love and support as a big sister? HAHAHAHA.

pano ko ba sisimulan to. gusto ko lang sabihin na he’s a big fat a** jerk and he should go drown himself and go to hell. wtfudge. bakit hindi ko navibes yun. anywaay, tama na ang bitterness at iyakan, move on na tayo. isipin mo na lang na isa siyang malaking mantsa sa buhay mo. nandito naman kaming mga super friends mo eh, at least kami we’re always here, we love you and we will never cheat on you ano gusto mo gawin dun sa girl pabarang natin? haha. joke lang. sugurin na natin at pasabugin! what else can i say? ayoko namang magmukhang war freak. basta cherish all the good memories and learn from your and his mistakes. wag magmadali dahil ang mga lalaki, darating yang mga yan. isa lang siyang malaking stopover sa buhay mo. at ngayong under construction ka na, siguruhin mong mahal ang toll fee bago ulit may makadaan sayong bago. nagets mo ba? basta hintayin mo lang yung magfifinal destination sayo

Kay apparently I’m not very good at giving encouragement/love/support/those shizz when I associate it with venting out with anger. Nawawala ang poise ko. But ohwell. I don’t wanna fake it so there you go.

Heart Attack.

Ang entry na ito ay indi tungkol sa mga kaso ng mga atake sa puso na napapanood sa tv o nangyayari sa totoong buhay. Wala itong kinalaman sa hayblad, pagkain ng taba at alta presyon. Ito ay isang lamang literal na paglalahad ng iba’t-ibang pag-atake ng ating mga puso sa mga haayyy san-pa-nga-ba eh di sa usapang pampuso.

Inatake na ba ang puso mo? Naranasan mo na ba pagpawisan ng malamig habang humahabol ka sa bilis ng tibok nito? Eh yung pakiramdam na parang mahuhulog na ito at kahit anong pigil mo, indi ito maawat sa gusto niya? Eh yung paninikip nito na halos sumabog na sa kinalalagyan sa sobrang ligalig? Minsan ang wild ng imagination mo, feeling mo malaki ito mashado na gustu mong ibahagi sa ibang tao. Pero pag sumakit naman ito, daig pang pinitpit at dinurog na  parang pamintang durog, ang saket!. MInsan nga pakiramdam mo wala nang natira rito. (kumusta ka naman buti buhay ka pa kung wala ka na nito.)

Bakit ba ako nagtatanong ng ganito? Bakit nga ba inaatake ang puso natin? Masama ba talaga ito? Meron ba talagang nakakaiwas dito? Meron na bang tao na nagtagumpay na nakaiwas sa pag-atake nito? Kung meron, anu kaya ang nangyari sa kanila? Buhay pa rin kaya sila?

Sa tambayan namin sa aling babys store, may iba-ibang kaso ng pag-atake ang puso.  Mapa-bulgar o palihim. Pinipilit itanggi o loud and proud lang. Kahit pagandahin mo pa ang deskripsyon, isa pa rin ang ibig sabihin nito…INAATAKE KA NA NG PUSO MO.

Attack #1: Slowly but surely. Ito ang estado ng puso ng isang tao kung saan tahimik na namumuhay ito. Masaya naman kahit indi ganun kagarbo pero keri na rin. Chillax lang sa isang sulok, walang inaalala…walang pinuproblema pero bigla na lang itong susundot na parang surot. Unexpected. Magugulat ka na lang isang araw na ang puso mo,  biglang ngumingiti ng kusa. May anxiety attack factor on the side. Indi ka mapakali, meron kang gustung laging nakikita at kahit marinig lang ang boses iba ang saya, parang may malamig na haplos. Iba sa normal na pakiramdam. Kung dati, ok na sayo ang manood ng tv with matching chips at softdrink tuwing weekend. Ngayon, may mga lugar ka nang pinupuntahan at laging may inaabangan sa cp, telepono, email at ym. Lagi kang excited, kahit mainit ang panahon indi maalis ang smile…para itong naka-tattoo. Pag ganito na ang pakiramdam mo…ito na ang unang pag-atake ng puso mo.

Attack #2: Bulls eye! Ang estado ng puso kung saan ito ay nagpumiglas na para magpatihulog na indi man lang kumukunsulta sa amo niya. Dito nate-test kung gaano ka-independent ang mga puso natin. Risk taker. Walang takot. Walang kaba. Sumusugod kahit kulang ang bala. Walang kasiguruhan at kahit malinaw pa sa sikat ng araw na talo siya sa laban, sige lang dahil sa ganitong estado…there’s nothing to lose. Itotodo na lahat hangga’t meron. Bakit? Walang pero. Walang bakit. Walang dahilan. Isa lang direksyon lang ang tinitingnan at kahit may mga humps, construction o kahit ano’ng sagabal. Kung may patibong man, ready na sila mag-dive in…plunge at mag-sink dahil ito na ang moment na pinakahihintay nila. Ang sitwasyon at lugar kung saan walang masakit. Lahat kayang lampasan. Lahat kakayanin.

Attack #3: Paranoia. Akala ng puso na sumugod sa laban, lagi siyang nasa cloud nine. Laging masaya. Laging may bertdeyan. Laging piyestahan. Nakalimutan niya na minsan indi laging masaya ang mga okasyon kasi bumabagyo din. Walang handa. Ang mga saklaan, nire-raid din pati na ang mga beerhaus at sauna. Minsan ang mga pinggan at ang ilang kagamitan sa bahay, nabubulabog sa paglipad-lipad. Mga tawag at text na walang reply. Mga tanong na sinasagot ng tanong din. Ang ulam na tumatabang. Mga bulsang butas. Mga problemang walang lunas. Cellphone na dedbat at walang load. Mga damit na namanchahan. Mga pusong sugatan. Nilalamon ng duda, inggit, insecurities, selos,  at ang pinakasikat na pride. Ngayon, naalala na ng pusong sumugod ang pakiramdam na masaktan. Maisantabi. Malinlang. Masugatan. Ngayon, sinasabi niyang ayaw na niyang magmahal. Pati si Kuya Jesus nakukuhang tanungin kung bakit. Kinukwestyon. Hinahamon. Nawala na yung tapang. Nawala na yung spirit. Nawala na yung love.

Attack #4: DOA (”Dead On Arrival”) Anu ba ang pakiramdam ng pusong sugatan na binuhusan pa ng alcohol at dinaanan pa ng pison? Pinipilit tumayo pero indi pa rin magawa. Hindi dahil sa ayaw kundi dahil hindi alam kung saan magsisimula. Ang pakiramdam na wala ng rason para ituloy ang buhay. Ang iba sa inaatake ng DOA, sa Sarhento Mariano ang bagsak. Ang iba naman ay sa Hospicio de San Jose. Meron din sa mga madidilim, maiingay at indi magkariningang lugar tulad ng club at bar. Sa mga pusong nakakapag-isip pa ng maayos, makikita sila sa loob ng simbahan. Indi nawawalan ng makakausap. Mga kaibigang takbuhan…hingahan…karamay sa lungkot with matching alak on the side. Ang buhay ginawang routine, trabaho-bahay,bahay-trabaho. Ang pusong dating matapang, ngayon wala ng buhay. Dapang-dapa na. Nabura na ng depresyon ang dating sigla. Indi na makangiti. Nawalan na ng pag-asa. Sinumpa nang umibig ulit. Sumuko na. Umayaw na. Tinanggap na ang pagkatalo.

Attack #5: REBORN. At sinung makakapagsabing ang mga puso ay marunong magtanim ng galit? Kahit anung sakit ang dinaanan ng puso. Kahit na saksakin ito, ipagtatwa, ipagtulakan, ibigti, iligaw, at ipapulis….iibig at iibig pa rin ito. Walang sinuman ang pwedeng pumigil dito. Walang makakapagsabi dito kung anu ang dapat at indi dapat para sa kanya. Puso lang siya pero napakalaki ng parte niya sa desisyon pagdating sa pag-ibig. Unang-unang binibigyan ng konsiderasyon. Nasasaktan pero indi nagtatanim ng galit na parang walang nangyari. Basta masaya, indi mo matitinag. Prenteng-prente, walang inaalala. Pero pag nasaktan naman, parang kinawawa. Pag umiibig, parang wala ng bukas. Indi tumitigil hangga’t indi nakakahanap ng mag-aalaga, tatanggap at kukupkup sa kanya at magpapatunay ng salitang poreber. Yan ang puso. Makulit. Mapusok. Paulit-ulit.

Ayon kay Bob Ong, ang puso daw ay ginawa para mag-pump ng blood na nagsi-circulate sa katawan ng tao kaya indi natin dapat isisi dito kung anuman ang sakit na dulot ng pag-ibig. Wala siyang kinalaman dito kasama na ang iba pang parte ng katawan natin. Love is a feeling, not a decision. Pag pinasok mo ang isang sitwasyon…utak at emosyon mo ang gumagana. Kung naging matagumpay ka, swerte. Kung indi, weder-weder lang yan. Better luck next time. Ginagamit lang natin ang puso para meron tayong sisihin when in fact walang ibang may sala kundi ang sarili natin. Masarap umibig, ito na yata ang isa sa pinakamasarap na parte ng pagiging buhay. Isang regalong masarap buksan. Isang bagay na hinahangad ng lahat. Walang nakakaligtas sa atake ng puso. Walang taong indi inatake ng puso. “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Good luck sa mga aatakehin ng puso, i hope you’ll make the right decisions.
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BAHAH. Wow, tagos na tagos sa mga taong inlove, maiinlove, naiinlove at nainlove. =)) Bat ba kasi napakacomplicated ng love, no? :p Minsan, napapareasearch tuloy ako eh pag ala akong malapitan. HAHA joke lang. x)) Tapos, minsan, mapapagisip ka, anu kaya ang meron sa taong to at humaling na humaling ako sa kanya? Anu kaya talaga yung nagttrigger ng feeling ng inlove? Hormones? Chemical processes? Nasa genes ba kapag swerte ka sa love? Pwede mo bang pigilan? Pwede mo nga bang “turuan” ang heart na maglove?
Andaming mga tanong na mismong ikaw, sa sarili mo lang ang makaksagot. Sabi nga nila diba, “Experience is the best teacher.”
Kaya, kung masyado kang nacucurious kung anu bang pakiramdam ng may someone na alam mong “sayo”, you know what I mean, edi go! subukan mong mainlove. Wag pigilan ang sarili at wag ring pilitin. Kasi darating din sayo yung time na ready ka na mameet yung mga potential at only soulmate mo. Pero katulad ng mga bagay sa mundo, at sabi nga nila, “Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa taas ka, minsan nasa ibaba.” Kumbaga nga, weather waether lang yan diba? Kung kinamalasmalasan naman sa unang time na miinlove ka eh nasaktan ka, well, ganun talaga. At least di ka natakot na ipaalam dun sa person na yun at naging totoo ka sa sarili mo. At least next time, alam mo na yung feeling kaya medyo magiingat ka na. Kung swertihan namang nakauto ka ng BF/GF (ayjokelang! xp), edi go! Cherish every moment. Kasi di mo alam baka bukas magiba bigla ang ihip ng hangin at baka may bigla siya or ikaw na marealize. AT BOOM! Ganun na lang, wala na kayo. Ang pinakamagandang parte lang naman ng mga “past” natin eh yung mga happy memories. Hindi mo mabubura yun diba?

    “They can take tomorrow and the plans we made, they can take the music that we’ll never play
    All the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday
    They can take the future that we’ll never know, they can take the places that we said we will go, all
    the broken dreams take everything, just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.”